Imagine investing so much into something for so long, giving everything you had, placing all your eggs in this one basket coz you were almost certain, "this is it". And you really thought it was going to work out; how could it not? You did everything right, well, most things, you went by the book, literally, following every instruction down to the letter. Coz when you think something is going to last for the long haul or something will be successful, you usually don't give it anything less than your best shot, right?!
But then, all of a sudden, everything you've worked so hard for starts to crumble right in front of you and there's nothing you can do about it but figure out how to start cleaning up the pieces. Thinking about everything you gave and gave up to make it work can be even more hurtful than the loss itself. And the thought of having to do it all over again can be quite daunting; the break-into-cold-sweats, heart-racing, struggling-to-catch-your-breath, "I-can't-believe-this-is-happening-to-me" kind of daunting.
How do you give your best again when it wasn't enough the last time?
What do you do differently when you don't know what you did wrong?
How do you know when it is right when you've gotten it wrong before?
There are so many questions you could ask yourself, and indulging in it can be very tempting, but if you can't find the answers, don't do it; you'll just end up blaming yourself and doubting your ability to do things right. There is a healthy amount of analysis you can do to come out a better person like identifying mistakes you made, editing your list of priorities, adjusting your expectations...whatever the case may be. Just don't lower your standards.
When you've experienced what you thought was "it", the thought of something even more amazing being out there seems impossible to believe. But in life, you just have to be a hopeless "hoper" sometimes. There is definitely something out there that is much better suited for you. So instead of wallowing in regret and resentment, count it as "relevant experience" coz you'll be even more qualified the next time around.
And when the "next time around" comes, and you get the chance to start over, be open! Don't expect it to look or present itself in a particular way. The "unexpected" sometimes masks the "amazing". Give it a real chance. And when it feels right, don't think twice, take the opportunity like it was the first time and treat it like it was your last one, give it your new best, and don't worry so much about the destination, just make sure the journey is all worth it.